Let’s imagine you have a goal, and it is fairly ambitious – many of my students, for example, want to become an Ecologist, so I will use that as an illustration. As soon as you say to yourself you want to become an Ecologist, your inner ‘little voice’ says, “You can’t do that because…. you are too old/too young/not clever enough/it’s too competitive/overqualified/underqualified/not enough money…” the list goes on.
You are likely to have come up with a dozen reasons why you can’t or shouldn’t do something. It feels like being on an icy slope – one step forward, two steps back. And this is sometimes why we don’t seem to get anywhere with our goals and dreams. Why does our mind do this?
Our subconscious mind is buried deep within us, and we are not really aware of what it holds and what it is doing. The main thing it is doing is automatic actions like walking, brushing your teeth or driving, but there is another thing it is doing – keeping you safe. Keeping you in your comfort zone where most things are automatic. Up to 90% of your activities in life can be on autopilot.
Your subconscious holds past memories, and in every event, when your little voice has something to say, it is based on these memories. Your little voice will have told you that if you do something, it could fail due to failures in the past, other people’s failures, or even other people’s imagined failures for you or themselves (teacher, parent, best friend). We all hold these memories in our subconscious, and they get dusted off every time you start to push yourself out of your comfort zone. They become a powerful force within you that is hard to ignore.
But wait, I hear you say! How do you get past this? It’s hard, but you can do it.
Have you ever tried having a dialogue with your ‘little voice’? It would go something like this; “Hey, of course, I can become an Ecologist!”. Your little voice repeats all its excuses based on past experiences and you reply: “But I am perfectly capable of becoming an Ecologist; none of those things matter! I can overcome them. There is no reason why I can’t become an Ecologist! It might take a while, but I will get there! It would be my dream job!”
You then need to hold your goal of becoming an Ecologist in your consciousness. Every time your subconscious/little voice comes up with a reason why not, you have a conversation and work it out between you. This might take a bit of time to get used to, but it is well worth doing. Eventually, you will find that conscious and subconscious sides of you will align with the goal. From then on, you will move with confidence and clarity and achieving the goal will be so much easier.
There are always real obstacles in the way that you need to overcome to achieve your goal, like getting training and qualifications, saving up some money, applying for jobs etc but if you are on your own side, you cannot fail. It’s like having an inner cheerleader or best friend who wants what you want and will do anything to get there with you!
I say to people who want to become an Ecologist to start by saying ‘I am an Ecologist!’ – preferably out loud. That is a great way to find out what your little voice has to say on the matter!
Later when you actually are an Ecologist (which you will become if you want to), you might get a touch of Imposter Syndrome: “Who am I to be here doing this job?”, “I won’t be good enough.” “I don’t know what I am doing.” “Everyone else is more qualified and experienced than me.” “Why did they hire me?”
Again, you may notice this is actually your little voice again. Trying to keep you safe by getting you to stop pushing your comfort zone. Again, a dialogue is needed. “I was hired, so I must be good enough!” “I will do my best, and I know I still have a lot to learn.” “I am at the beginning of my journey, and I will embrace all the challenges with support from my colleagues.”
You will also feel like an imposter because you have never been an Ecologist before. You are pushing your comfort zone. It’s new to you. Your subconscious mind likes familiar things and is very uncomfortable if you do something new. So, you need time to get used to the idea. The dream has become a reality, and now you need to give yourself some time to adjust to your new reality. You need time to become that person you have dreamed of becoming because now you actually are that person in reality – there will be a lag before you fully catch up with that. I find it takes between about 1-6 months to fully get there.
Remember:
- Your inner voice is trying to keep you safe.
- Your inner dialogue needs to be aligned towards your goals and dreams. This might take time, so keep working on it.
- Be aware of when your inner voice is running the show.
Let me know if you found this article useful. What came up for you? Do you need some support to become an Ecologist? Email me on [email protected].
People to follow:
- Anthony Robbins
- Marissa Peer
Both have lots on YouTube.